Robin Hood has Left the Building

Going to see Robin Hood I was expecting a few things. One, men in green tights. Two, Mel Gibson. Then I realized, I wish it was Peter Pan. It would have been much greater than Robin Hood. Instead, I got a whole bunch of chain mail suits, Archie Morris from the late TV show “ER”, a chick who reminded me of Repunzel, and a history lesson. And thankfully, I took French class prior to seeing it because I really did not feel the desire to be reading subtitles. I found the fact that the people who spoke French in the movie kept switching back between French and English. I just didn’t get it. Overall, before I was forced to leave the movie after standing an hour and a half of it, the only thing I got out of it was that the king was dead. And I am not talking about Elvis nor Michael Jackson. Though, a movie on either would have been preferred. After the king was killed, he was replaced by who I suspected to be his brother. The new king was then seeking revenge on Robin because he knew too much. Too much of what? That, I don’t even know. I was probably too busy looking at random scars that appeared on people’s faces out of what seemed to be nowhere. Or possibly that is when I fell asleep, and missed a few scenes. The setting of the movie was set way back in the day when people road horses around instead of cars. It was when people had bow and arrows, when they dressed different. The movie was very dark, and there were a lot of fires; a lot of killing. Though there wasn’t much blood, I was surprised this movie got a PG-13 rating. I figured it should have gotten an R, for more than just killing. I often realized that I was the only one not laughing. I didn’t understand the humor in the movie. Either because it really wasn’t funny, or because the movie was for people much older with wiser minds than I. The movie also repeatedly kept switching locations. This confused me even more because I for one am not a history buff. I wasn’t sure about which location was on what side. For the matter, I didn’t even know who was on which side. I wasn’t even sure of the characters names. I was quite unsure of everything in the movie. I had decided I had enough of the movie when some guy in the movie read a note saying the French men had landed last night. Because at that point, they had completely lost me. I am sure I was completely annoying the gentleman to my left because I had been yawning every few seconds. In my head, I was counting seconds, just waiting for the credits. The credits in my head, would have been the best part, and I did not even manage to see that. If you are deciding to see Robin Hood, or some other movie. Pick the other movie. Because in my eyes, this was the worst movie I have ever seen in theaters.