Relationships. Every relationship has a different set of rules, whether agreed upon verbally or a mutual understanding among partners, all relationships are different! Some relationships have more than two individuals, an open relationship with loose restrictions, and/or partners all the way across the world. Relationships are supposed to adjust to all parties, but there are always rules that everyone should follow when with their partner(s.)

Dimond High has educational lessons for all about how to practice safe sex and healthy relationships, but there are always things you can learn. It’s important to remember that everyone is different and that it takes every party to adjust and make your relationship a happy and healthy one, but knowing some basics can help reassure or prepare for certain aspects. Dimond High also offers a Sex Ed and Relationships class as a gym/activity credit. The course lasts a semester and helps go into depth about different topics regarding relationships and how to be safe.

Join One Love is a nonprofit organization that works to end abuse in relationships by raising awareness with the voices of many victims who have gotten out. It provides a safe space for you to reach out if ever feel trapped in your partnership and has helped–possibly saved–millions. One of the main points they speak about is how healthy relationships make you feel good! This may seem obvious, but love shouldn’t be a trade and you shouldn’t mistake what ‘feeling good’ is like. You should feel comfortable with your partner(s!) Being comfortable means being okay with sharing information, confronting them when things need to change, and of course, trusting your partner.

Something that people can forget when in a relationship is how important it is to stay true to yourself. It’s easy to change for other people, but you should always be confident to be yourself and express it the way you want! Relationships do change a person. You may pick up your partners’ habits, ways of speaking, and mannerisms, but you should never change yourself on purpose to please your partner(s) when it isn’t damaging. Harmful examples include: Changing your clothing styles, changing your appearance, forcibly changing your hobbies, and acting differently around others when your partner is present.

You shouldn’t expect the worst when going into a relationship, but you must understand how things may affect you in the future. A harmful relationship is when you lose your independence. Being told you can’t get a job for a reason that isn’t valid, being told you can’t be around other people, and being trapped in an abusive relationship. You don’t need to be living with the person to be trapped, because partners can get possessive and manipulative. You must understand and take action when your partner does something that can be a red flag. It can start with them placing doubts about your friends, or making sly comments about those around you. Inherently, expressing your opinion of someone isn’t wrong, but if you start to notice a pattern, do not fall into it. It can happen quickly, but many cases have a slow snowball effect that can harm people for the rest of their life.

What if you are the unhealthy link? There is no sympathy for people who purposefully manipulate and harm their partner, but there are clear signs you can catch yourself and learn to stop. You may be a little shy or not want to speak on the subject, but withholding information about an STD or other medical and transmittable diseases is abusive and illegal behavior for they can seriously harm your partner(s.) You must be open with communication, even when it can be uncomfortable to talk about.

Another unhealthy trait you may look over is your own jealousy. It’s natural to get a little jealous when your partner(s) is hanging out with someone else, but if it gets uncontrollable, you may need to take a step back and practice other methods. Jealousy is a harmful thing and can tear people apart without even realizing it. It’s okay to express the want to be together more often, but don’t try to keep your partner(s) from going out with friends unless there is reason to be concerned.

Part of an unhealthy relationship can be too involved. It’s important to ensure your partner(s) feels loved and cared for, but being obsessive is never good. If you find yourself getting unreasonably jealous when around other people, thinking about them every second of the day, or never letting go even when they need to, it can be extremely damaging to all parties. You must remain an individual, even with your partner(s) so you can love healthily. There is a balance between obsessive and uncaring, and you must communicate it with your partner. Being too involved can be suffocating for the other parties, and make them uncomfortable or as if they can’t leave if problems do arise. While it’s easy to get caught up in what your partner(s) are doing, you must step back and look at what you’re doing, and your behavior.

A healthy relationship includes communication, trust, love, individuality, honesty, comfort, respect, and equality. If you ever have questions or concerns about your relationship, then you are welcome to reach out to the many hotlines and sources ready to help. Abusive relationships are a serious problem, and one call can change your life and quality of life. It is never too late to improve your relationship, yourself, and your life.