I want to preface this by saying that every restaurant is the best, and this is purely for comedic purposes. I would give them all S tier if I could, but that wouldn’t make a very good article.

Arby’s – A tier, I’ve only bought kid’s chicken strip meals from here and they were all good. The only catch is that the restaurant inside is always full of the craziest people you will ever meet.

KFC – D tier, the food is good but everything in the restaurant is so sticky that if a hurricane were to hit nothing would move.

Dairy Queen – C tier, Dairy Queen tastes like what you want Burger King to taste like. 

McDonald’s – F tier,  Sometimes if the chicken nuggets are too hot, the liquid chicken in the middle doesn’t solidify. I’m not even kidding. It’s traumatizing. 

Papa John’s –  D tier, Papa John’s restaurants just appear in the strangest places, and nobody is ever there.

Taco Bell – B tier, somewhere along the line I convinced myself Taco Bell is healthier than the other fast foods.

Subway – F tier, the dust they use to make the bread is scraped directly off of a grandma’s mantle.

Chick-Fil-A – D tier, fries being in the shape of a grid does not make them taste better.

Dominoes – B tier, this is the type of food your parents feed you when they stop wanting to feed you.

Burger King – F tier, the lettuce is always waterlogged. It tastes like if I ate New Jersey.

Pizza Hut – C tier, Pizza Hut is like eating a bowl full of sauce.

Five Guys – S tier, it is a dying shame we don’t have one.

Jack in the Box – C tier, I only remember surreal commercials with the spooky mascot scaring the life out of me as a four-year-old.

Sonic – S tier, I like it when the waiters come up to your car, also the food is good.

Wendy’s – F tier the food tastes poisoned and one time I waited two whole hours for the worst cheeseburger in the world.

Chipotle – C Tier Why is it so expensive? It’s good, but why? It’s not worth three hundred dollars for three tacos. It’s the Starbucks of fast food.