S-tier – Hash browns, I hate potatoes but I could eat six hundred hash browns and never get sick of them.

S-tier- Eggs Benedict, Benedict Cumberbatch’s best creation.

S-tier – Fried eggs, I don’t care what people say, ketchup belongs on eggs.

S-tier – Hard-boiled eggs, why do some people take four hours to boil eggs? It takes twelve minutes, tops.

S-tier – Mcdonald’s Hash browns, is a different creature than normal hash browns.

S-tier – Scrambled eggs, you guys are overcooking them. Eggs don’t need to be pellets.

S-tier – Croissants, I like them, but it’s time to admit that they’re just biscuits with butter folded in.

A-tier – Omelets, slightly overrated but still good.

A-tier – French toast, not the best, but still the best way to eat soggy bread.

B-tier – Avocado toast, way too overrated but not bad. I think everyone needs to stop pretending avocado toast is the best.

B-tier – Breakfast ham, tastes like sheets of plastic. I like it.

B-tier – Home fries, like hash browns but with more potato, truly a loss.

B-tier – Toast, makes you feel sad just by eating it. But still good.

B-tier – Fried potatoes, like home fries with more potatoes, an even bigger loss.

B-tier, Donuts, just sugar in a circular shape.

C-tier, English muffins, dry but less dry than a biscuit.

C-tier, Muffins, just depressed cupcakes.

C-tier, Sausages, mildly suspicious.

C-tier, Bagels, too much dough.

D-tier, Cereal, who decided this was the necessary breakfast food. Eating cereal actually makes me hungrier.

D-tier, Yogurt, not food. Just a thick drink.

D-tier, bacon, salty strips of mediocre meat.

D-tier, Cinnamon rolls, if they’re too dry it’s like eating a Popeyes biscuit with sugar on it.

D-tier, Canadian bacon, only good on breakfast sandwiches.

D-tier, Biscuits and gravy, the biscuits get soggy and I don’t really like gravy.

D-tier, Sausage patties, all the suspiciousness of sausages with a new shape!

D-tier, oatmeal, perpetually mushy.

F-tier, fruit, fruit is not a breakfast food. It is a side dish if anything.

F-tier, Pancakes, are so flavorless that we have to douse them in corn syrup.

F-tier, Biscuits, concocted out of drywall.