I want to preface this by saying that every state is the best, and this is purely for comedic purposes. I would give them all S tier if I could, but that wouldn’t make a very good article. 

Alabama – F tier, simply because the song Sweet Home Alabama is not that good, and it’s severely overplayed.

Alaska – A tier, if it was less dark during winter it could maybe take a place in the S tier.

Arizona – D tier, I thought the city in Texas was the only Arizona for the longest time, so they’re very forgettable. 

Arkansas – F tier, Kansas, and Arkansas need to agree if it is pronounced Kansas or Kansasw. Until then I will punish them both with an F tier.

California – C tier, if it didn’t have L.A. or Hollywood it would just be another bland state. 

Colorado – B tier, I appreciate the perfectly square shape of the state. 

Connecticut – D tier, I’ve never met anyone with a strong opinion on Connecticut.

Delaware – D tier, In my opinion, Delaware should combine with Maine to create a super state. Until then they are both just mid-tier states.

Florida – F tier, it is too hot to have any fun there. 

Georgia – D tier, couldn’t tell you anything about them except for the fact that they grow peaches. 

Hawaii – B tier, very pretty and all but too expensive to live in for a lot of people. 

Idaho – D tier, like Georgia, I couldn’t tell you anything about them except for the fact that they grow potatoes.

Illinois – C tier, the name is fun to say but they have no memorable personality or features. 

Indiana – D tier, what even goes on in Indiana? What do people do there? As far as I know, it is a desolate wasteland devoid of people. 

Iowa – C tier, the name has joke potential due to the fact it sounds like “I owe a” but why tell a joke about owing someone something in Iowa?

Kansas – F tier due to the fact they can’t agree with Arkansas on how Kansas is pronounced.

Kentucky – S tier, the state is shaped like a chicken. I love that. 

Louisiana – A tier, I like that they say something is “Louisiana Style” I don’t know what that means, but I’ll buy anything if it’s Louisiana Style.

Maine- B tier, makes me think of lobsters, cows and lighthouses. All those things are pretty ok. 

Maryland- F tier, who’s Mary? Is she deserving of a whole state? 

Massachusetts – Low D tier, impossible to spell.

Michigan – C tier, people only come here for college, but some people get stuck and never leave. That’s where the entire population came from.

Minnesota – S tier, funny accent. 

Mississippi – F tier, its name looks like one big typo. 

Missouri – D tier, Minnesota and Mississippi’s forgotten little brother. It sounds so similar to those two. I will always forget that they aren’t the same.

Montana – F tier, just another Texas, and not in a good way. 

Nebraska – D tier, every year, millions of people flock to Nebraska looking to go to Vegas, only to realize that they had the wrong state, and that they were supposed to go to Nevada. At least that’s what I imagine. 

Nevada – C tier, name one city in Nevada that isn’t Las Vegas. Las Vegas is carrying this entire state on its back.

New Hampshire – D tier, I sat for 30 minutes trying to think of something to say about New Hampshire, but not one thought popped into my head. 

New Jersey –  F tier, New Jersey is my least favorite state. It’s the type of place your mom would threaten to send you if you didn’t eat your vegetables when you were six. 

New Mexico – D tier, New Mexico is just dryer and dustier than Idaho. Trust me, we don’t need another Idaho. 

New York – B tier, it’s really not all that great of a place but their accent is funny. 

North Carolina – D tier, we didn’t need one Carolina, so why in the world do we have two?

North Dakota – D tier, this was the type of place one of your classmates in the fifth grade would always talk about visiting over the summer. 

Ohio – D tier, the only thing Ohio has is those roadside attractions you drive by on road trips.

Oklahoma – D tier, just O.K, appropriate due to the state abbreviation.

Oregon – F tier, Oregon is only farmland and industrial zones. It’s like an apocalypse full of millennials. 

Pennsylvania – D tier, It took me years to realize this isn’t the place vampires live in. 

Rhode Island – C tier, it’s just expanded Boston.

South Carolina – C tier If you traveled to every state, there would be a hole in your memory from when you were in South Carolina. It’s just that forgettable.

South Dakota – D tier, why isn’t there just one Dakota? Two Dakotas is one too many.

Tennessee – D tier, the state is too flat and Narrow. 

Texas – B tier, everyone in Alaska that moved from another state is always from Texas. New neighbors from another state? You don’t even need to ask, you know they’re from Texas.

Utah – D tier, part of the four corners, is the most disappointing tourist attraction. 

Vermont – F tier, admit it, you don’t know someone who’s met anyone from Vermont. Nobody does. That’s because no one lives there. 

Virginia – C tier, the last time anything interesting happened here, it was 1770.

Washington – D tier, it’s got all the weird Oregon people, but with the addition of weird Seattle people. 

West Virginia – C tier, people only remember this place because of Country Roads, and that song wasn’t even very good.

Wisconsin – D tier, I think if Wisconsin went missing, off the map, no one would notice.

Wyoming – D tier, Wyoming is just extra Wisconsin.